Compassion : A missing ingredient

Without fear, we are able to see more clearly our connections to others. 
Without fear, we have more room for understanding and compassion. 
Without fear, we are truly free.
- Thich Nhat Hanh

This has been on my mind for many months and today, I witnessed something that led to a series of thoughts. So here I am, making an attempt to explore the issue, mostly for personal reasons - to gain some clarity and get it off my mind. 

I sat amongst random people at mosque this time round, listening to this lady give a lecture on good character and the feeling of not being able to raise questions unsettled me. A lady with a child sat next to me and naturally, he began to talk to himself as he played with the cars he'd brought from home. "Keep quiet or else God will grow thorns on your tongue!" She said to him. Moments later, he began to explore the area and she got mad, again - "sit still or else God will grow thorns in your feet." 

Now, somebody tell me why the One who is known and praised through more than 99 Glorious names, some of which are The Most Merciful, The Most Compassionate, The Most Sublime; and the One who takes care of the little insects, the plants, the stars and the universe, why... Why would such an Entity want to cause pain to the feet of a three year old? Surely He wouldn't; but the child doesn't know that, does he? 

It's fair to say that fear is man made. However, if love prevails all and if love can overcome everything negative, then why do we feel the need to instill fear in everyone; and in these little fresh minds that can soak up all the good we present before them, with love? 

How we speak to children becomes their inner voice when they grow up. Naturally they grow up with a fearful relationship with the Creator whereas He is the Most Loving. Logically, there's no fear as such when you are in the company of the one you love.

People go to the mosque, church etc to seek people that will help take them closer to their higher purpose. But sometimes all I hear is people addressing the little children with such aggression and it's needless to say how they converse with the rest of the community - all in the name of correcting wrongs. We often forget that we are dealing with dignified human beings who have delicate souls, hearts, emotions and feelings. They are not inanimate objects on a factory belt, where they can be thrown around, cleaned and polished so that ultimately, a perfect product comes out of it.

It genuinely unsettles my heart when I see these things happening. So my question is, where is the compassion? Where is the kindness? Where is the love?Where is the genuine concern for another human being? Isn't a community supposed to be like a giant hug for your soul? A sanctuary. A place of growth. A place of comfort.  

Each of us want to feel love, even if it's at the basic level. And when we give out some love, we receive it as a gift - that's just the way the universe works. 

So, really...

How can we help develop the inner voice of little children when we are constantly saying no to everything they do? 

How can we possibly grow together if we are creating fear in everyone's minds? 

I say, let's look beyond it and shift our focus to the bigger, and brighter picture. Let's plant seeds of kindness everywhere we go, and make our contribution to the world.

Stay blessed :)

Questions. Dreams. Happiness

Today, I have questions.

We strive for peace and contentment, but when will we get there? 

We see ourselves in a better position in the future, but what are we doing about it right now? 

Are we forgetting to live in the 'now' because we are too worried about how things will pan out in the future? 

What's stopping us from being content now? 

We all have a thousand things that we want to do, myself included. But what are we doing about all of that?

Sometimes, we point to external factors that supposedly don't 'let us' do what we want to do, that come in the way of being happy and at peace. However, the blocks are within ourselves, actually. Some of us have a hard time letting go whilst the rest of us wait for a 'perfect' moment to do something that makes us happy. Let's do more of what makes us happy because in the end if we are not happy, what's the point of it all, really? 

Real power does lie within us, we only attract what we put out. And so, let's put out all the good so that only good can come back to us. Let's really live each day and fill them with some happiness.  

Be like a beeworker

"You learn something every day if you pay attention." ~Ray LeBlond

I love curiosity in human beings; and even more in children. My little nephews (7 and 4) came up with some very interesting questions this evening along the lines of the creation of insects and we brainstormed on the possibilities of why a bee would be created. The older one suggested that they’ve been created so we can study their lives and learn something from them; that inspired us to read up on the bees. Much to our amazement, there was some truth in his statement and this is what came out of our little session; something I would like to put up as well to serve as a reminder.

It’s beautiful to know that we can learn something from every creation.

 Stay blessed :)

A beautiful soul, now a beautiful memory

“Seashells remind us that every passing life leaves something beautiful behind."

Today marks a year since her passing and yet, it feels like last night when I received a phone call informing me of what had happened. 

As I sit on her swing, 20 years of beautiful memories flash by my eyes. From playing "restaurant" and "salon" with her to watching the sunsets and the birds, talking to her about the beauty of the universe we live in, learning about her struggles and experiences back in the 50's and to just peacefully sitting in silence. 

When I came back, I expected to feel a very deep, an endless pit of emptiness and pain in my heart, and I did. But soon after, that big hole of emptiness was filled with a peace that made me smile. Perhaps it was all the memories or perhaps it's because we never truly lose someone when they pass away. The concept of loss has been complexly redefined by man when in reality, they're just crossing a bridge that every one of us will too, eventually. 

So I think what I'm trying to say is that the people that have supposedly moved on, are still with us; the connection is still alive. We can give them gifts like we did before, just with a more lasting effect this time; an eternal gift so to say. Let's do some good out there in their name and bring joy to their souls and in turn, to ours. 

If we are able to take lessons from their lives, their life was worth living. If their lives make us better people, their job is done. It's beautiful when I think of what I can take from my grandmother; and it's even more beautiful to know that she taught by living as opposed to speaking or telling.

So let's open the shutters to our hearts, plant some trees, support those who need it and do all the good we can.

Stay blessed :)

Rediscovering my true self

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in 

which you yourself have altered.” 

― Nelson Mandela

About a year and bit ago, with the aim of pursuing my degree in business, I moved out of my little cocoon with limited knowledge about my own self only to immerse myself into the deepest end of the ocean which we can call, another country; oh wait, another continent. The transition from a third world country to a first world country was mahusive, but everything was a step UP so a month in and I had fully adapted to the culture and system of the West.  Every day was a new experience, filled with brand new lessons and beautiful memories. In the midst of those experiences, something beautiful started to happen. I began to find myself; in ways that I cannot fully comprehend.  It was like every person that walked into my life, had something to teach me about myself; about my thought process; about life. I loved it, to be honest. And the trains and buses, the independence, the availability of everything in the palm of your hand and of course, the glory that is FOOD. It was all pretty satisfying; I didn’t’ have to wait on anyone to do anything.

But it wasn’t too long before all the tall and fancy buildings I admired became stagnant blocks of glass; a container for people’s misery and sorrows. I began to observe everybody on the trains and the streets, even in their offices only to realize that most of them were SO unhappy; just getting by their day and ultimately, rushing through life; trying to meet deadlines and struggling to cover their expenses with a bare minimum salary. Within all of that chaos, for the first time in my entire life, I realized what I wanted and it wasn’t to rush through life. Never did I have to make a big decision for myself; I even had trouble selecting what I wanted to have for lunch off a restaurant menu (not because it was a lengthy menu but because I genuinely didn't know). I wasn’t fully conscious of what I liked or disliked, of how I reacted to certain situations but thankfully, all of that changed in 2014. When I think of it now, I guess it was because I was so ‘busy’ trying to study and get through my exams and make space for my ‘friends’, I forgot about myself for a few years – there was nobody to blame.

My inner voice (that I had unintentionally suppressed for so long) began to surface more and more each day as I grew to learn what I was really about. I started doing the things I wouldn’t think of doing otherwise, talking and getting to know more people; I had not felt so comfortable with myself before. It felt like I was on fire. 6 months into the transition, I realized something big. I realized that the degree was only an excuse; I was brought out to see the world for a whole other reason; to discover myself – the only real degree that will help me through life; guaranteed.

400 days later, it was time to return to my home country. A country where things worked differently, where corruption levels were ridiculously high, where internet was limited and safety, was an issue. Now, you can only imagine the magnitude of the shift that had to be made. I’ve trained myself to be pretty adaptable all my life and before I flew out, I had accepted that it was going to be tough, but I didn’t realize how tough until I set foot into the country. The truth is, for a whole week I struggled. I had days where I just wanted to lay in bed and cry because nothing was working out, everything seemed a lot harder than it was supposed to be. I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything without safety being a huge concern. I felt stuck, limited and inadequate. I didn’t want to speak to anybody but I also didn’t want to complain. I couldn’t dwell in this forever; I wanted to resort to the internet, my haven, my medium of growth.

One week in, I decided to get hold of the wheel. Today, it’s been four weeks and things have changed once again; for the better. Change is only going to be easier to deal with when we decide to accept it, and change the way we respond to what comes with it. Situations may be out of our control however we are still in charge of how we process them; we can make it as easy or as hard as we want to for ourselves. So I would say, let’s make it easier on our minds and hearts, and try to change our mindset in every situation – tough times don’t last forever. 

Keep the faith, breathe and stay blessed :)

21 lessons I've learned at 21

Life is a journey filled with experiences to enjoy

I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to live 21 elevating years filled with beautiful experiences and moments that have turned into life lessons today. I am truly indebted to God for giving me the strength and courage to get through these years and for the opportunity to share these 21 pieces of life lessons with you. 

1. Situations change just as much as people in your life change. Don’t expect much from the things that are perishing and inconstant, instead, rely solely on God, who is constant. This way, you will never be disappointed and feel let down.
2. You can be busy all day, but so are the ants. What are you busy for? Live your life in a meaningful way and that will make every day worth looking forward to.
3. Love and appreciate the people that matter in your life, but also forgive easily because there's nothing heavier on the heart than the inability to let go of hurt, sadness and sorrow.
4. It’s healthier on the mind and the heart to change your feeling, opinion and perspective of a situation when you can’t change it.
5. Accept that you are a seed that has been planted onto this earth for a very specific reason – to bloom and to give back in a way that is unique. Seek to explore your potential and let your light shine.
6. Be kind to every soul you meet, do a random act of kindness for them for every individual is fighting their own battles, and so be kind.
7. Our mind is a vessel of energy. Our thoughts are waves of energy and therefore we are energy. Be responsible for the energy you bring into any space.
8. Life will present all sorts of situations before you; many may not be the way you want them to be. Be flexible and adaptable through every situation and you will breeze right through it.
9. Always find opportunities to help and benefit others, one day that reward will find its way back to you in ways you could not even imagine.
10. Appreciate the smallest things in life, the nature around you, the people, the skies and all that is in the earth gifted to us by our Creator. The simple things which at heart bring us contentment - not the material things.
11. Be true to yourself and brave enough to be brutally honest about your flaws, then work on it. Every day should be an opportunity to become the best version of ourselves that we can be.
12. Continuously work on maintaining an inner stillness within you which can become a sanctuary to which you can retreat to in a busy and fast moving atmosphere.
13. Be nice to people. Even those who are not nice to you. Why? Because you’re a nice person.
14. WITH difficulty comes ease.
15. The only way to live life with contentment and joy is to immerse yourself into the sea of service.
16. Appreciate even the littlest of things people do for you, for it is not out of their duty or their right but merely out of their good nature.
17. Do not compare yourself to others in a way that is destructive to your being. Accept who you are and know that it is okay to be that way as long as you keep working on your less positive points and you know you’re doing your best.
18. Surround yourself with those that help your being for habits and traits tend to rub off easily – so be sure that it’s the good and positive ones that rub off on you.
19. Less is more and in simplicity lies real beauty
20. Nothing is permanent. Not life; not worries.
21. Let your life and heart be like an open door. Appreciate those that walk in, let go of the ones that leave. 

Stay blessed :)

Shutters up

Never lose your sense of wonder

There comes a point in life where we find ourselves standing in the middle of a dark room, questioning the purpose of life and ultimately, our existence. We ask ourselves; why am I here? Why and how are the people I am surrounded by, so different from me? Are we all here to do the same thing; create our versions of a routine life? Well, not exactly.

The fact is that each of us is a seed that has been planted on to this earth for a very specific reason and purpose. So yes, we do have a role to carry out on Earth; a contribution to make; albeit for a limited period of time. Our purpose is to bloom where we are planted - each of us has the ability to bloom in a way that is purely unique because our talents, strengths and passions dictate our experiences which define us. That is the purpose. And when we are living that purpose, when we are giving our special gift to world, we’re happy. Can you imagine how beautiful this world would be if we all contributed our unique gifts and gave back?

We grow through our experiences but we grow even more when we reflect upon them - which is why you will see a few reflection posts in this blog – perhaps we can learn from one another and grow for the greater good.

We often get caught up in this whirlpool we call life and let the forest burn in our lust for a tree. The simplicity of life has been overpowered by the complexity of man which ultimately leads us into an empty, ‘dark room’. But then what? Well, that's where this blog comes in with the aim of helping us open the shutters one at a time, let the light in and illuminate this dark room.

So, let's be the best version of ourselves and plant nothing but seeds of positivity, peace and happiness into this world.

Stay blessed :)